I tried really hard to sleep.
But of course, the childish impulses of my brain wouldn't allow me to.
Thoughts of the boyfriend that hurt.
Thoughts of the best friend that consoled.
Thoughts os the guilty crush I had on a girl that delighted.
Heavy eyes, long, drawn out breaths indicated exaustion were not enough to convince my mind to rest.
"There's still so much to do! You should have said this! You should have done that!"
Once again, endless regret and mistakes that my brain wants to cycle through and scold me for.
Guilt.
I start to convince myslef that if I think about them enough they will get better.
Not true.
They are still here.... and there.
Actually, they are still, literally, everywhere.
I promise myself that I will never let myself get to this point ever again.
The point of insanity where sleep isnt even an option anymore.
I have to stya wide awake.
Whether it be with tears streaming down my cheeks or just staring blankly at the wall, emotionless.
I have to.
It's enevitable.
